5 Reasons Why I’m Glad I Had C-sections

c section

I may sometimes joke about not being a real woman as I don’t know what it’s like to have a contraction or go into labour but it is exactly that: a joke, a big Prabulous joke. I have never felt guilt or shame over my c-sections. Why talk about this? Well, it turns out April was caesarean awareness month. It’s also when I came across blogger Next Life No Kids who is spearheading the Mommitment movement, aimed at stamping out Mum-shaming (sorry I’m a Brit). Ha, the coincidence! Because what’s one of the biggest mum-shaming obsessions perpetuated by society (i.e. mothers)? Yep, the passive-aggressive view that women who wind up having c-sections somehow failed at childbirth. Purleeese.

Here’s the thing. Whether a woman has a home birth/hospital birth/gas and air/no gas and air/epidural/no epidural/a scheduled caesarean/an emergency caesarean/a super quick labour/days of hell in labour/a doula/a state midwife/a private doctor/a water birth/a squat on the side of the road and just get it out birth, the ONLY thing that matters is if that child is born healthy. If it is, that’s one lucky child and one lucky mother. I don’t think we truly realise how incredible the female body is or how miraculous pregnancy and childbirth is until we actually go through it. Whichever options we choose or have thrust upon us by circumstances, that baby is a miracle however it came out.

childbirth

Yes, natural birth is best. It just isn’t always the best option…as I found out:

In a nutshell, Musical M wasn’t thriving as my placenta was no longer viable and she was too underweight to stand much chance of making it out of the birth canal alive, VBAC was apparently too risky with Dreamy D and by the time it came to Cheeky K, my fate was sealed. All three were breach and had the cord around the neck several times.

But a walk in the park those c-sections were not! Spinal block, ice cold operating room, conditions, catheters, needles, stitches, trying to move…everything hurt like holy hell. Granted, my c-sections just involved uncomfortable tugging rather than the searing pain of pushing but everything else…oh God. Trying not to shiver and shake while the anaesthetist inserted that needle. Being lifted and rolled onto my bed as I couldn’t feel my lower half. Trying to feed baby without placing baby anywhere near my sore tummy. Trying to sleep with a catheter and needles in me. The blindsiding tear-inducing pain of trying to walk once the feeling returned in my legs…just the most bloody painful, humbling experience of my life. Up till then. Of course, much later, kneeling on the floor wiping up food and begging a toddler to eat just one frickin’ mouthful would become the most bloody painful, humbling experience of my life. Oh and laughing, sneezing, coughing and just plain breathing? They felt like extreme sports due to the air that got trapped while I was open on the operating table, causing shocking stomach pains once it was stitched back up (as if that poor sucker hadn’t been through enough).

I begged the doctors, nurses, cleaners, the woman in the next bed’s visitors, heck anyone who walked past me for pain relief. Yep, Alternative-Medicine Prabs was replaced by Desperately-Seeking-Any-Fucking-Drugs Prabs. What can I say? Morphine, Voltaren, Co-dydramol, Anythingamol and I became friends. (I think this mum just shamed herself.)

So, wondering how or why I could possibly be glad I didn’t give birth naturally? Here are:

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1. Who doesn’t want a four day break from dishes, laundry?
Most of my friends were desperate to get home the same day they give birth. I couldn’t think of anything worse. Just think about it: I got a break from domestic drudgery. Then once I got to my second birth, much as I missed toddler Musical M like crazy and dissolved in tears when I finally saw her, those four days in a quiet room with her brother were heaven. What’s not to like about not having to deal with this for a few days?

By the time it came to Cheeky K, the easiest roomie who just slept all day and didn’t yell Mama, mum, mummy, MAMAAAA!! every few minutes…I’m telling you it was a mini holiday. The only thing missing was the minibar. I asked for a fifth day.

2. Being unable to drive or lift heavy things for several weeks was almost liberating.
I had the ‘luxury’ of cocooning at home with a newborn (if you can call surviving on next to no sleep cocooning) as I couldn’t go far without a car and my driver (aka ‘he who got me pregnant’) was at work. I could wear pyjamas all day (ironic considering the lack of sleep) as I wasn’t going anywhere and could watch trash TV (albeit with a baby clamped to my breast) because hoovering the floor or unloading the dishwasher involved lifting. And I wasn’t meant to lift, right?

3. My biggest fear in life was the agony of childbirth so I wont lie: I WAS relieved when the docs decided I had a date with Edward Scissorhands.
I can’t deny I played at wanting a natural birth. You are expected to want it…because it’s natural… People have different fears: spiders, flying, heights, whatever. Honestly? I didn’t view the act of pushing a rather large thing out of a rather small hole as natural. Nope. Not. At. All. Of course the irony is that despite my pathetically low pain threshold, I was nevertheless able to tolerate being cut open three times.

4. My stomach may be shot to pieces but I now have a shelf to rest my coffee mug.
Visible scars aside, I sprang back into shape super quickly after my first two c-sections. But that third child. Mercy me, that third… I now have the delightful ‘too many c-sections shelf’.  Let’s just say when I lie on my side…well…I just shouldn’t. When I lie on my back, I can’t say it’s that much better. Ah, the beauty of the post-caesarean ‘overhang’. The only way to avoid it: big girl panties. But what’s the point of that when I need that shelf for my coffee mug?

5. I may be lazy with kegel exercises but I don’t wet myself every time I cough or laugh or run, thanks to my lady region not being destroyed by pushing three humans out.
Major props to my natural birth sisters but sorry, that is definitely something to be thankful for. I didn’t say it doesn’t happen. It just doesn’t happen every time…

Seriously though, I know c-sections are no laughing matter. Mine were carried out based on medical decisions made by the doctors. Each successive operation can be more tricky and of course I would have conquered my fears and given birth naturally if circumstances allowed. But that’s not the way things worked out. I spent a millisecond feeling like less of a woman for not achieving the trophy-worthy natural birth before snapping out of it and realising I had still very much given birth and was crazy lucky to have each of my little bundles of joy. (Anyway, undergoing major surgery three times is deserving of a trophy in my book.)

Oh and that not being a ‘real woman’ thing. It isn’t because I had c-sections. It’s because I never got my boobs.

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Comments

Comments

21 Comments on 5 Reasons Why I’m Glad I Had C-sections

  1. Modern Dad Pages
    June 6, 2015 at 2:21 am (2 years ago)

    There are always good reasons to have a c-section and it in no way makes you less of a woman. Good post! Thank you for linking on #effitfriday

    Reply
    • prabs
      June 6, 2015 at 11:26 am (2 years ago)

      Cheers matey.

      Reply
  2. Trista, Domesticated Momster
    June 8, 2015 at 5:18 pm (2 years ago)

    I too had 3 c sections…in 3 years…mine due to my pelvis not spreading. I had a very military type doctor too who signed my release from the hospital the day after having said c-sections…which was fine I hated being in the hospital and woke up every few hours to check my vitals. Because of course it would always be after I had just got the baby fed and to sleep. I agree though that my who ha is still the same…no bladder problems…not stretched out anything down there lol and my doctor was so awesome that my scar is so low that you can’t see it and it’s almost invisible. I have thought about getting a tattoo across it of a chain with a lock at the end. Cause there are no more babies coming out of there. Hubby is fixed and the next person that tells me about a story of so and so who’s husband was fixed and they got pregnant I am going to slap. Thanks for sharing with #momsterslink.

    Reply
    • prabs
      June 8, 2015 at 6:14 pm (2 years ago)

      The tattoo!! You are hilarous. I’m so glad you liked it. Thanks so much for #momsterlink.

      Reply
  3. Rachel @ The Mama Files
    June 29, 2015 at 10:37 am (2 years ago)

    I tried for natural but ended up having an emergency c section. And darnit I’m glad. After 12 hours of labour and just 1cm dilated I was already traumatised and it was becoming clear to me every moment that passed just how low my pain threshold was. (Low = non-existent.)

    Of course you don’t want a touch-and-go situation like mine when you’re put under but it all happened as it was supposed to and was all good in the end. I would opt for the sunroof method again if I went for baby 2.

    Reply
  4. Harps
    July 12, 2015 at 9:03 pm (2 years ago)

    I can totally relate to the 5 reasons why you’re glad! I had to have an emergency section with Arjun and I’m so tempted when and if I have a second to go for an elective! Ps high 5 fellow Punjaban x

    Reply
    • prabs
      July 12, 2015 at 9:31 pm (2 years ago)

      Ah nice you can relate. A lot of people do. High five back lol. Thanks for stopping by.

      Reply
  5. Who Let the Mum Out?
    July 22, 2015 at 7:37 am (2 years ago)

    Great post. I can definitely relate. I really wanted a natural water birth at home. But, after having low amniotic fluid and being 2 weeks overdue.. I was induced. I tried so hard to have a natural birth, but after 2 1/2 days.. my doctor said I had to have a c-section. It turned out that my pelvis was too small. Since we were in the hospital for 2 nights and then 2 more days, we couldn’t wait to get out of the hospital. But, they wanted to make sure I was okay. But, I do get that you did want a break from the kids.

    Reply
    • prabs
      July 22, 2015 at 9:56 am (2 years ago)

      As long as they get here in the end huh? Thanks for reading.

      Reply
  6. Min
    September 8, 2015 at 9:00 pm (2 years ago)

    I totally get this. I really wanted a natural birth and had done since I realised in childhood that it was possible to get a baby out without a scar (my mum had three C-sections and I thought that was just the way all babies were born). And then finally the times comes and…..emergency C-section. Oh well!

    Reply
    • prabs
      September 9, 2015 at 9:52 am (2 years ago)

      But all’s well that ends well right? 🙂

      Reply
  7. Cat
    September 13, 2015 at 7:07 pm (2 years ago)

    Well, hello – thought I would pay you a visit, and now I can’t leave. Thanks a bunch, I was supposed to be folding the washing.

    As someone who has pushed a baby out and also had a section, I can still honestly say I don’t know which I would rather have again (Note: There will be no more babies coming out of me, EVER). With my section that was planned (due to the injuries from my first) I was so nervous that I maybe would’t bond with my baby as well, or I would’t feel such a sense of achievement.

    All. Total. Bollocks.

    It changed nothing, it was a total bitch to recover from, yet so was my first birth, I still have physical scars from both AND I bonded with my babies as much as each other no question.

    However you give birth, you give birth, it is the SAME. If you and your baby are healthy, then drink them in, snuggle them close – and Fuck the shamers.

    The end.

    Cat

    http://www.breedandwrite.co.uk

    Reply
    • prabs
      September 13, 2015 at 9:15 pm (2 years ago)

      OMG they should have a blogger award thingy for best comments. Brill!

      Reply
  8. Tori Gabriel
    September 14, 2015 at 10:40 am (2 years ago)

    Brilliant! I had two sections (one emergency, one elective). On both occasions they saved the lives of both my children. I hate the view that I’m not a “real” mother. Had my babies died, would I get the title then?!

    Great post (as always).

    Reply
    • prabs
      September 14, 2015 at 5:28 pm (2 years ago)

      Awww thanks for the comment Tori and yes I just don’t GET the real vs not real mother thing. What a waste of energy.

      Reply
  9. Mariassa Claire
    March 30, 2016 at 9:52 am (1 year ago)

    I had C-section because doctor told me that my baby’s neck has 2 loops. But in hindsight I am happy. The pain was minimal, I have no visible scares, healed very quickly..while my friends who had natural birth around that time were complained for a long time

    Reply
    • prabs
      March 31, 2016 at 1:45 am (1 year ago)

      Whatever it takes as long as baby and mum are ok. Thanks for reading.

      Reply
  10. Kate Tunstall
    October 27, 2016 at 7:33 am (6 months ago)

    It’s not something I’ve ever had to consider (yet anyway). Personally I’m in awe of every woman every time she expels a baby, whichever method is taken. It’s coming out one of two ways, and neither is a walk in the park. Great post! X

    Reply
    • prabs
      October 27, 2016 at 9:19 am (6 months ago)

      That last line!! Fab.

      Reply
  11. Laura
    March 12, 2017 at 3:19 am (2 months ago)

    i just had my first c-section last year and I was terrified but all in all it wasnt that bad of a procedure and it helped to make sure my baby was born in the safest way possible

    Reply
    • prabs
      March 12, 2017 at 11:15 pm (2 months ago)

      Exactly. All the competition over natural and ‘no meds’ etc…who cares as long as the baby is born safely!

      Reply

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