First Case of Exhausted Mother Reported As School Year Ends

end of school year mum

 

A mother of three is being treated for exhaustion as the school year draws to a close. Our Daily Fail undercover reporter (posing as a stressed father with Man Flu) managed to obtain a copy of the hospital admissions form containing Mrs Prabulous’s own reasons for seeking help. It makes for sorry reading. Amongst her sins were:

– Failing to RSVP to birthday party invites

– Telling her youngest there were no more spaces at an after-school activity because she “couldn’t bear to spend one more minute in the effing car to get there”

– Failing to check homework folders since May April

– Hardly ever remembering ‘”that fricking library book”.

Even worse, the pint-sized British Asian mother who lives in a four bedroom house by the sea in Malta (this is the Daily Fail remember…we love to throw in totally irrelevant shit like that and pretend it’s real journalism) confessed that her biggest crime of the school year was feeling actual relief when her eldest went down with a suspected case of chicken pox forcing the whole family to miss a school event. She confessed:

“I nearly did a jig in the middle of the lounge upon realising that I was off the hook having to make entire trays of tandoori chicken for the British table at the biggest event of the school year. Wrong. Attitude.”

A senior consultant at the clinic that deals mainly in treating Syndrome of The Underachieving Chronically Knackered Yelling (SUCKY) Mother said “This is not an isolated case. We’ve actually seen a sharp rise in this sort of case over the last few weeks. It’s not unusual for stressed out mothers to be admitted complaining of lunch box boredom, school project frustration, PTA exhaustion and utter dread over ‘that stupid new maths long division method’. However, if I’m honest, this is the most severe case we’ve treated so far.

“Mrs Prabulous is not just suffering from run of the mill fatigue. Upon closer analysis, we noticed serious symptoms of general disorganisation and apathy. When interviewed upon her arrival, she admitted she:

– has considered giving her kids a packet of crackers and a jar of nutella between them and “just letting them fight it out in the playground” as she was tired of coming up with lunches that all three would finish.

– was the last parent to pay for end of year teachers’ gifts

– resorted to using her five year-old’s Hello Kitty markers to write the children’s names on clothing as she never got round to ordering name labels. Ever.

– got the school start date wrong once leading her kids to miss the first two days of term.”

Mothers at her children’s school have been shocked by the developments. “We always knew she wasn’t the most organised or involved of mothers but this is a shock” said one who did not wish to be named.

The Daily Fail’s special investigations unit has learned that the clinic was full of mothers repeatedly asking “Is it wine o’f*ckingclock yet?”, clutching crumpled unsigned class trip forms and muttering something about waiting for the bell to ring on the last day of term and collapsing at the finish line.

Doctors have identified the condition suffered by Mrs Prabulous.

It is called Sheer Relief.

It is often replaced by another disorder 48 hours later:

Omg-they’re-home-for-two-months-itis

 

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79 Comments on First Case of Exhausted Mother Reported As School Year Ends

  1. Emma
    June 12, 2015 at 10:04 pm (2 years ago)

    You have lost it ha! Great post an honour to have it on #snotallaboutyou

    Reply
    • prabs
      June 12, 2015 at 11:05 pm (2 years ago)

      lol it’s a bit horrifying really! Thanks. Honour’s all mine #snotallaboutyou

      Reply
  2. Mama, My Kid Doesn't Poop Rainbows
    June 13, 2015 at 12:11 am (2 years ago)

    Haha, I hear that. My wife and I are already asking ourselves ‘What’s the earliest we can send him to school?’

    #momsterslink

    Reply
    • prabs
      June 13, 2015 at 3:14 pm (2 years ago)

      OMG really? You have all this to contend with! Thanks for stopping by.

      Reply
  3. Talya
    June 13, 2015 at 9:57 am (2 years ago)

    Love this especially the newspaper snippet made me have a good chuckle! #BigFatLinky

    Reply
  4. Emma's Mamma
    June 13, 2015 at 10:03 am (2 years ago)

    Hilarious post! I can only imagine the stress of hiving three kids – I find one hard enough. And luckily she’s not in school yet! #bigfatlinky

    Reply
    • prabs
      June 13, 2015 at 3:13 pm (2 years ago)

      Oh I’m so glad you read it Claire! Your linky…it’s on my list 😉 Thanks for stopping by.

      Reply
  5. Kirsten Toyne
    June 13, 2015 at 11:28 am (2 years ago)

    Ahh the joys of school!!! Who knew there was so much involves (I say after the last 1 1/2 hrs of weekend has been spent on homework)

    Reply
  6. Kirsten Toyne
    June 13, 2015 at 11:29 am (2 years ago)

    Ooops D- for me. #bigfatlinky

    Reply
    • prabs
      June 13, 2015 at 3:15 pm (2 years ago)

      Oh so glad!

      Reply
    • prabs
      June 14, 2015 at 7:37 am (2 years ago)

      Hang in there sister!

      Reply
  7. John Adams
    June 14, 2015 at 6:06 am (2 years ago)

    As a stay at home dad, I have to say that SUCKY Father syndrome also exists. The only thing is, six weeks of having the kids at home is much more demanding than term time. Well, to me it is! Good luck with the school holidays. #BugFatLinky

    Reply
    • prabs
      June 14, 2015 at 7:38 am (2 years ago)

      lol I wish you the best of luck! Thanks for reading.

      Reply
  8. Claire
    June 14, 2015 at 6:12 am (2 years ago)

    Absolutely hilarious! I only managed to turn in about 40% of my son’s reading logs this year. Poor child. No homework offense was ever his own fault – it was his disorganized mother’

    Reply
    • prabs
      June 14, 2015 at 7:39 am (2 years ago)

      So glad it’s not just me! Let’s be disorganised together then.

      Reply
  9. Ali
    June 14, 2015 at 8:36 pm (2 years ago)

    Reading folder! B******$s! Totally forgot they have them. I wondered what that big crumpled mess at the bottom of his bag was.

    Reply
    • prabs
      June 15, 2015 at 10:23 pm (2 years ago)

      I’m so glad it’s not just me.

      Reply
    • prabs
      June 15, 2015 at 10:23 pm (2 years ago)

      lol it IS honest isn’t it? Ahem.

      Reply
        • prabs
          July 21, 2015 at 9:20 am (2 years ago)

          Thanks Debs. Yes I realised it hadn’t quite down the ’rounds’ properly re the linkies.

          Reply
  10. Kelly
    June 16, 2015 at 2:39 am (2 years ago)

    I just love the term S.U.C.K.Y. Mother!! You sound tired, but very honest 🙂 #bigfatlinky

    Reply
    • prabs
      June 16, 2015 at 1:07 pm (2 years ago)

      And my husband thought that was me trying too hard. Pah! What do men know?

      Reply
  11. Trista, Domesticated Momster
    June 16, 2015 at 5:10 pm (2 years ago)

    What a well thought out post. Love it! I think all parents could be in some sort of headlines…and then there’s the ones on the “real” headlines that shouldn’t even have had children. Thanks for sharing your humor with #momsterslink. Hope to see you again this week!

    Reply
    • prabs
      June 16, 2015 at 10:44 pm (2 years ago)

      glad you liked it! Thanks for reading.

      Reply
  12. Silly Mummy
    June 16, 2015 at 6:03 pm (2 years ago)

    This is great! At least it’s only failing to RSVP to birthday party invites, & not – shock horror – the mortal sin of RSVPing & then not taking your child! #wineandboobs

    Reply
    • prabs
      June 16, 2015 at 10:44 pm (2 years ago)

      lol mortal sin! Try beating not RSVP’ing and turning up! V common in Malta.

      Reply
  13. morna
    June 16, 2015 at 7:41 pm (2 years ago)

    Amazing post! I think I might have this condition too. I dread school events – sometimes I pretend I can’t get out of work when really I could, I just can’t face spending any more time at the school being judged by all the other parents #wineandboobs

    Reply
    • prabs
      June 16, 2015 at 10:08 pm (2 years ago)

      I love your honesty. Thanks for reading!

      Reply
  14. Chantal Omodiagbe
    June 17, 2015 at 6:54 am (2 years ago)

    Oh Prabs. You are Mrs. Devine! Damn Mr. Man Flu. He’ll never understand the intensity we mums feel. You are sensationally comical!

    Reply
    • prabs
      June 17, 2015 at 5:43 pm (2 years ago)

      Thank you soooo much!

      Reply
  15. Mrs Tubbs
    June 17, 2015 at 11:28 am (2 years ago)

    I love it! And appear to be living it … #wineandboobs

    Reply
    • prabs
      June 17, 2015 at 9:17 pm (2 years ago)

      lol ‘appear’ to be living it. Thanks for reading.

      Reply
  16. martyn
    June 17, 2015 at 1:40 pm (2 years ago)

    Haha love this! I’m a mix as being home schoolers we don’t get the events of school situations that fill us with dread. Although the constant going brings exhaustion! Thanks for linking up with us on the #bigfatlinky hope to see you there this week

    Reply
    • prabs
      June 17, 2015 at 5:37 pm (2 years ago)

      Thanks so much Martyn!

      Reply
  17. Gemma Capocci
    June 17, 2015 at 2:30 pm (2 years ago)

    LOVE THIS! Whilst I am yet to suffer the school routine, I do manage to maintain a series of EPIC fails on a daily basis when it comes to feeding, nap times, nappy changing and all other important elements of parenting a baby and toddler. A brilliant post. Looking forward to reading more x

    Reply
    • prabs
      June 17, 2015 at 5:36 pm (2 years ago)

      Thanks Gemma! Was a labour of love to be sure.

      Reply
  18. Tania
    June 17, 2015 at 7:50 pm (2 years ago)

    I loved this post. I love the newspaper report styling, so creative! You are also not the only one who feels this way. As a parent who has ADHD I can attest to having many of the same issues. Trying to keep up on deadlines and events and paying for field trips takes it toll. As excited as I am that the school term is nearly done, I may too start suffering from Omg-They’re-Home-For-Two-Months itis as well! 🙂 #wineandboobs

    Reply
    • prabs
      June 17, 2015 at 9:17 pm (2 years ago)

      Thanks Tania! ADHD is no laughing matter so I sympathise with what you say. Thanks for reading!

      Reply
  19. Amy @ Mum's the Law
    June 19, 2015 at 11:23 am (2 years ago)

    I’m a first time mum-to-be and frankly, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry about the thought of this now being my life. It sounds like hell, but this… kind of makes it sound worth it in the end, somehow. I’m certainly going to get ready to be on the front pages of the Daily Fail in the very near future! x

    #effitfriday

    Reply
    • prabs
      June 19, 2015 at 3:28 pm (2 years ago)

      All I can say is good luck!

      Reply
  20. Jen
    June 19, 2015 at 12:53 pm (2 years ago)

    So funny – love the aside “this is the Daily Fail remember…we love to throw in totally irrelevant shit like that and pretend it’s real journalism” – spot on! Thanks so much for sharing on #effitfriday !

    Reply
    • prabs
      June 19, 2015 at 3:26 pm (2 years ago)

      I was just thinking I love that bit too (modesty is so overrated). I love that you loved it.

      Reply
    • prabs
      June 24, 2015 at 11:29 pm (2 years ago)

      Ha it’s one of my faves lol. Glad you liked it again.

      Reply
  21. Mama Zen
    July 22, 2015 at 7:00 pm (2 years ago)

    I LOVE this! haha too funny!! Third time I have read it. 🙂

    Reply
    • prabs
      July 22, 2015 at 11:09 pm (2 years ago)

      Wow third time…fab!

      Reply
  22. Sherry
    August 4, 2015 at 8:01 pm (2 years ago)

    So glad it’s not just me!

    Reply
    • prabs
      August 7, 2015 at 12:47 pm (2 years ago)

      Hee hee no!

      Reply
  23. Mamavsteacher
    August 4, 2015 at 8:20 pm (2 years ago)

    Amazing! I can’t believe you got the term dates wrong – I actually laughed aloud!

    Reply
    • prabs
      August 4, 2015 at 9:06 pm (2 years ago)

      I’m hopeless. I surpassed myself.

      Reply
  24. Helena Clarke
    August 4, 2015 at 8:20 pm (2 years ago)

    I love this! And I am totally with you in the epic fail department! and that new long division method??! WTF?!!

    Reply
    • prabs
      August 4, 2015 at 9:06 pm (2 years ago)

      lol cheers Helena!

      Reply
  25. Emma
    June 13, 2016 at 6:43 pm (10 months ago)

    Oh this is brilliant, just read it for the first time and prompty remembered that I need to RSVP to a birthday invite. I have also moved my flights to Brit Mums so that I can go to the evening shindig and I have just realised that this this means I will miss sports day. Yep, I should be in the Daily Fail :-/

    Reply
    • prabs
      June 13, 2016 at 10:27 pm (10 months ago)

      Ooh fab news about BML! Erm I mean oh what a shame re sports day.

      Reply
  26. five little doves
    July 15, 2016 at 8:07 pm (8 months ago)

    I laughed out loud at this but also felt a little relieved that I wasn’t the only one who makes these mistakes! I got the term dates wrong with my son back in infants, only realised when I got a phone call from the school secretary asking where Lewis had been for the last three days as I thought they started the week after! Mortified!! #fridayfrolics

    Reply
    • prabs
      July 15, 2016 at 8:15 pm (8 months ago)

      There are more of ‘us’ than people realise..

      Reply
  27. Emma
    July 16, 2016 at 9:41 am (8 months ago)

    Popping back again! And still loving it! WHOOP. Although has reminded me that school finished yesterday and I forgot to return the library books. ARGH! Thanks for linking up with #FridayFrolics

    Reply
    • prabs
      July 18, 2016 at 11:35 pm (8 months ago)

      Thanks love. One of my personal faves if I’m honest.

      Reply
    • prabs
      July 18, 2016 at 11:34 pm (8 months ago)

      Ha I’ll see what I can do!

      Reply
  28. Turning Up in Devon
    July 18, 2016 at 1:57 pm (8 months ago)

    Totes hilaire! I have obviously been suffering from an acute attack of SUCKY mum too and was actually last seen under a pile of end of term letters rocking! 5 more days and I’m hanging on by my fingernails #fartglitter

    Reply
    • prabs
      July 18, 2016 at 11:33 pm (8 months ago)

      Hanging on by the fingernails. LOL! Love it. Glad you enjoyed.

      Reply
  29. Ellen
    July 18, 2016 at 2:23 pm (8 months ago)

    This is sheer genius, I adore you. I think I’m going to be a terrible school mum. All those things to remember and places to be on time, not my forte at all! #fartglitter

    Reply
    • prabs
      July 18, 2016 at 11:33 pm (8 months ago)

      Ha ha thanks Ellen, nice to be adored (for erm basically admitting I’m ruddy hopeless!)

      Reply
  30. Rhyming with Wine
    July 18, 2016 at 9:46 pm (8 months ago)

    Right. So my Miss Tot starts school next September so that gives you a year to please sell up, move back to the UK (Yorkshire this time) and have a 4 year old. I neeeeeed you to be my mum friend at the school gates. I will flounder without you. I cannot even remember the old way to do long division…
    Brilliant Prabs! Thanks for linking up to #fartglitter x

    Reply
    • prabs
      July 18, 2016 at 11:13 pm (8 months ago)

      Awww bless you. I’ll think about it lol.

      Reply
  31. Silly Mummy
    July 21, 2016 at 1:44 am (8 months ago)

    Haha! Well, it’s better to get school start date wrong & miss the first two days than to get it wrong & leave your kids at school alone for two days, right? Mine aren’t even in school & I already make up crap about why we can’t do activities I don’t want to face!

    Thanks so much for linking up to #FridayFrolics. Hope to see you next time!

    Reply
    • prabs
      July 21, 2016 at 7:49 pm (8 months ago)

      Good luck…I wish you strength.

      Reply
  32. Sarah - threediferentdinners
    July 21, 2016 at 1:06 pm (8 months ago)

    Checked the school bag and found a pair of accident pants in a nappy bag….when from??? epic mum fail!
    #StayClassyMama

    Reply
    • prabs
      July 21, 2016 at 1:18 pm (8 months ago)

      Ha ha sssh your secret’s safe with me.

      Reply
  33. Mouse, Moo and Me Too
    July 21, 2016 at 10:57 pm (8 months ago)

    This is AMAZING! You’re so clever 🙂 But how big are your kids’ backpacks?! What on earth do they have in there?

    Reply
    • prabs
      July 21, 2016 at 11:21 pm (8 months ago)

      Dead bodies. Don’t tell anyone. Oh…wait…

      Reply
      • Mouse Moo Me Too
        July 21, 2016 at 11:40 pm (8 months ago)

        Kids are excellent smugglers aren’t they, no-one ever suspects the kids!

        Reply
  34. My Petit Canard
    July 22, 2016 at 12:16 am (8 months ago)

    Ha, ha! I imagine most mums are feeling like this at the moment. I struggle just to keep with the day to day, and our little one is only in nursery. I’m sure nursery school in September is going to require a whole other level of organisation! I cant say im looking forward to feeling like this at the end of each term and then having the challenge of keeping the little one entertained for 6+ weeks. I guess thats where wine o’clock comes in 😉 Emily #DreamTeam

    Reply

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