I am sooooo excited about my #OopsFiles guest this week, none other than the utterly hilarious Just Saying Mum. I view Helen as sort of my blog twin as she is one of the few bloggers I’ve found who, like me, is way past the pregnancy/breastfeeding/potty training etc phase of life. She is one of the funniest bloggers and there is such a great spirit in her posts about her teens. Her #OopsFiles offering, however, has nothing to do with parenting teenagers and is more a series of various Oops that had me in utter stitches. The passenger with the coat, the feng shui and the postbox. Heaven help me; I almost had a hernia laughing. As for the intro, what can I say? I’m only human…clearly I love my ego being massaged as much as the next person, so when my OopsFilers start their guest posts with kind words about me, I don’t mind at all. Er, what I mean is I blushed with embarassment at Helen’s compliment but couldn’t remove it as it’s part of what she’s written and who am I to start removing parts of my guests’ posts?! That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it. #JustSaying
Oh as much as I was so totally and utterly honoured to have been asked to write for the incredible @absolutelyprabulous because she is one of the most funniest and coolest people I have read and I am stupidly in LOVE with her posts, I was also a little wary … I have so many oops moments I really didn’t know where to start but then I thought … Oh to hell with it … lay it all out there and show the parenting bloggers out there just how ditzy you really are. So, lovely readers, I give you me – oops moment after oops moment … I’ll let you take your pick of which makes you smile the most …
So there was the time on the train after a very late drunken night out that I was chatting and laughing so much that one of the other passengers actually got up and put a coat over my head and politely told me to shut up.
There was the time at dinner with my in-laws when I’d only just started dating my husband where I announced that my lounge just didn’t have quite the right ‘Karma Sutra’ about it … their stoney silence and blank stares confirmed that ‘Karma Sutra’ obviously wasn’t quite the right phrase … rescued by my husband who whispered that I probably meant ‘Feng Shui’ … humiliated doesn’t cover it!
Then the time that I was on my own and ran for the tube (no mean feat in stilettos) and got my heel caught in the tube doors as they closed. Wedged with the doors on my leg and absolutely no way I could open them. It took three men on the platform to force the doors open then manhandle my leg to pull my foot free … all at the same time as the tube driver is announcing “Please stand clear from the doors, stand clear from the doors.” And you know that beeping noise the closing doors make – oh that was going the whole time too … and then as my leg became free, the doors shut, the men giggled to themselves on the platform and I had to turn and face the whole carriage as they sat there staring at me and tutting! I haven’t tried to jump on a train with closing doors since … lesson well and truly learnt.
Oh and then the time that I was out late with friends in a taxi in Piccadilly and on seeing a postbox as we stopped at some traffic lights … I jumped out of cab to post a letter and then jumped straight back in to a different car … very awkward!
And then the time I was convinced that the Robbie Williams tribute act was actually The Robbie Williams and I spent the entire evening pole-dancing (because evidently I thought I could do that) around his microphone stand when in fact he was Kevin from Canvey!
Oh and then there was the time that I got the snow train down to Chamonix and thought it a great idea to consume every drop of our duty free gin in the party carriage … have you ever been ill out of a window of a very fast moving train? I advise you never to do so … trust me, it doesn’t work … the laws of physics do not allow! There’s a lot more to this story but I’m saving it for a blog!
There’s one more I want to share but the hubby must not read … believing a guy in a club that he was a premiership footballer … and we will say no more on that matter other than he wasn’t … and yes I was very naive!
So me in a nutshell … moment after moment!
Hi, I’m Helen and am mum to two gorgeous teenage girls and one son (who is gorgeous too of course!). I started my blog Just Saying Mum after one daughter was signed to a modelling agency and, being her chaperone, I sit for literally hour after hour at photo shoots just waiting and waiting. I’ve always loved to write so, one day, whilst watching daughter change into the 50th outfit of the day (yes seriously!), I grabbed my phone, opened the notes page and … well … couldn’t stop … mainly documenting the funnies … just saying!
Follow Helen on Facebook and Twitter and the blog Just Saying Mum
If you’d like to take part in the #OopsFiles Guest Post series click here for details.
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