EXPOSED! This is Why Indians Don’t Do Dogs!

this-is-why-indians-don't-do-dogs FEATURED

Hubster came home the other evening and said “Guess what I was doing last night?” to which I thought Heavens above, I don’t wanna know. “I was trawling the Web” he said, to which I just thought Ok, you really need to stop talking right now. “I was looking at dogs” he continued, and I thought Man that’s not a nice thing to call the women on ‘those’ sites. We then had a discussion about the best family dogs. Sorry to disappoint if you thought I was going somewhere else with this.

You see, the unthinkable has happened. We (and by we I mean Mama Prabulous) can’t stop thinking about getting a dog. Yep, me: a self-confessed-not-exactly-animal-lover-type (what can I say? I’m Indian) especially animals that bark and poo and moult.

Well that was me, before my epiphany:
Basically, we spent quite a few Sundays this Winter hiking with Baker Lady who often brought a friend’s dog along with her. To my surprise the kids totally loved running around the Maltese countryside with the dog and I found myself thinking more and more that a dog would be great for the kids. Yes, I know…a few sunny afternoons dog-sitting after which you hand the dog back (and at no point have to handle its toilet issues) are not the same as the full-time responsibility of having one yourself.

 

kiki dog

 

Then I had a second epiphany:
It’s not the family that needs a dog. It’s me! Here’s the thing. I shut down the baby-making factory a while ago and now that my kids aren’t babies anymore, I need another baby to look after (and presumably need my head testing too after that comment). I mean, I’m SO on top of the whole cleaning-laundry-shopping-blog-cooking-childrearing-exercise-life-in-general thing that I have loads of spare time and energy to spend on training and caring for a dog. (Can you detect the ‘mild’ sarcasm?)

But there’s a bit of a ‘hereditary’ setback to us getting a canine friend. I’m not entirely sure how to say this diplomatically. Luckily for me I don’t care too much about diplomacy on here so I’ll just spit it out and say:

Historically Indian people are not well known for keeping domestic animals.
Well, not keeping them in the ‘treating them as part of the family’ sense anyway. When I was growing up, I knew only one Indian family who had a pet of any kind. And they weren’t too good at the caring and nurturing thing. ‘A dog is a man’s best friend?’ Ha, most Asian families I knew just saw a dog as a man’s dirty, smelly, fear-inducing bane. And so did I.

Fast forward some thirty (ahem) years and guess what?
Yep, I still only know one Indian family with a dog! But this Indian, dear reader, oh this Indian has been researching breeds on the google machine, gazing longingly at random dogs in the street and asking their owners questions. No idea how I’ve done such a u-turn. Recently, we were at our new fave beach when a load of dogs descended filling up the place. A year ago, I’d haven been majorly hacked off at having my peaceful afternoon wrecked by a bunch of noisy pests turning up, sniffing each other’s genitals, splashing sea water everywhere and running all over the beach causing a mini sandstorm before shaking themselves off right next to me.

But that’s enough about my kids.

kids dog beach

 

Oh stop…don’t tell me you didn’t see that one coming.

Seriously, this time? I wasn’t even remotely annoyed. Instead, I mentally picked out my favourite canine, cooed and aahed at it and stroked its wet doggy self.

Yet everyone I’ve spoken to has warned me off getting one
(everyone bar one friend who’s laid back about everything anyway so I’m not sure his opinion counts). Bizarrely, most of these people have dogs! Selfie Gal even said “Prabs you’re not a dog person” which momentarily confused me because I’m sure there’s a bitch in me somewhere. Anyway, now I’m in a quandary and can’t decide whether to get a four-legged housemate or not.

I think it pretty much comes down to the answers to the following:

1. Can dogs help with maths homework?

2. Could I get canine handcuffs to make it harder for it to wreck the entire house?

3. Can they come up with a breed that doesn’t shit?

4. How good are dogs at doing the dishes?

5. Can I wrap it in clingfilm to avoid it shedding everywhere?

6. If I stick Sat Nav on it with our home address, could it go walkies and find its own way back home when Mama Prabulous is too busy doing laundry? (By ‘doing laundry’ I mean watching Adam Levine on repeat.)

7. How easy is it to get a Prabulous-size dog? I’m on the petite side (translation: I never grew) so there’s no point getting something the size of a horse that sends me flying into the dining table with one wag of its tail.

8. Would my Maltese neighbours think I’d finally lost it if they hear me calling “Pankaj!”…”Ramesh!”…”Sunita!”…? (Wait til I tell them my friend’s dog is called Pocahontas.)

Can you spot the problem here? (No pun intended with the use of the word ‘spot’ in a post about dogs…I’m not that good.) Not exactly dog-savvy am I?

So if you hear about a brown woman and three mini brown people accosting dog owners in the street, don’t worry, it’s just me and my family trying to get some answers…

You know…because generally, Indians don’t do dogs.

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Comments

Comments

26 Comments on EXPOSED! This is Why Indians Don’t Do Dogs!

  1. Pia
    May 15, 2015 at 11:22 am (3 years ago)

    Haha…love it :-). Perhaps we should discuss the idea of shared custody again over a glass of wine. Things usually become crystal clear then 😉 x

    Reply
    • prabs
      May 16, 2015 at 10:57 pm (3 years ago)

      Lol…KNEW I’d break you down eventually.

      Reply
  2. Andrea
    May 18, 2015 at 8:14 am (3 years ago)

    So funny! And guess what? I’m going through the same thing. It might be age/phase related? I’m shocked that I’m looking at dogs, not motorbikes (or bikers for that matter) – but DOGS!? With my severe suffering of routines-and-responsibilities-o-phobia!? It seems a bit reverse to what appears to be going on with a lot of my other friends. Maybe it’s a sign that (finally, against all probability) I’m staring to “mature”..?

    Reply
    • prabs
      May 18, 2015 at 8:43 am (3 years ago)

      It’s not maturity…we’re both just barking mad. See what I did there…

      Reply
  3. Ashley Beolens
    June 8, 2015 at 1:14 pm (3 years ago)

    Must be something in the air, we keep thinking about a dog, the two issues I have are 1) how much will it stop me doing the things I do like popping to the grandparents for a week adhoc? and 2) How can I avoid picking up poop?

    There are huge upsides I know, but I can’t get past these two downs, sadly.

    Reply
    • prabs
      June 8, 2015 at 7:19 pm (3 years ago)

      Totally with you Ashley. Those are main two as well. Hubster said ‘we could never go away’ (to which I roared because we hardly ever go away) but it’s true. It’s a life sentence! A nice one with upsides as you say but a hassle!

      Reply
  4. Natasha
    June 9, 2015 at 5:08 pm (3 years ago)

    Omg…literally LOL’ing!!!!

    Reply
    • prabs
      June 10, 2015 at 8:45 pm (3 years ago)

      Hee hee, it was a bit cheeky but SOMEONE had to write it.

      Reply
  5. jeremy@thirstydaddy
    June 9, 2015 at 5:23 pm (3 years ago)

    My whole family has been after me to get a dog for some time now but I don’t want the extra work. As I type this a rabbit is running circles around the chair. That’s enough for me

    Reply
    • prabs
      June 10, 2015 at 8:43 pm (3 years ago)

      Don’t do it Jeremy. And if you do, I’ll have words with you. Thanks for stopping by.

      Reply
  6. Emma's Mamma
    June 9, 2015 at 6:09 pm (3 years ago)

    Think of a dog as having another child. Except that this furry child needs three walks per day, feeding once or twice in one day, poop-picking-up three to four times per day as well as monthly grooming, claw cutting, the occasional expensive vet visits. Training – make that lots of training unless you want an uncontrollable dog. Other than that it’s a easy! Hope that helps 😉 #wineandboobs

    Reply
    • prabs
      June 10, 2015 at 8:46 pm (3 years ago)

      Other than that, it’s easy! OMG hilarious.

      Reply
  7. Becky, Cuddle Fairy
    June 9, 2015 at 9:49 pm (3 years ago)

    Ha! That’s too funny! We have a dog but she lives outside 😉 Thanks so much for hosting #wineandboobs x

    Reply
    • prabs
      June 9, 2015 at 10:05 pm (3 years ago)

      That’s the thing. I’d feel too bad and have them inside and them moan about the state of the house (for a change). Thanks for linking up Honey.

      Reply
  8. Jessie, flusteredmom
    June 10, 2015 at 1:52 pm (3 years ago)

    Get a dog! I can’t imagine life without my four-legged baby. Just make sure you get one that fits your family and lifestyle. #wineandboobs

    Reply
    • prabs
      June 10, 2015 at 8:37 pm (3 years ago)

      Would you look after it for me then? Thanks for stopping by.

      Reply
    • prabs
      June 11, 2015 at 3:44 pm (3 years ago)

      Lol YOU’RE looking after it then! Thanks for stopping by.

      Reply
  9. martyn
    June 12, 2015 at 12:34 pm (3 years ago)

    Good post! Got to love dogs. But they are like another child. We’ve always had dogs and last year got a lovely puppy thinking it was a great idea. But growing up with dogs I’ve only really known of the adult dog not the lunatic puppy. That being said they are lovely. Thanks for linking up with us on the #bigfatlinky hope to see you there this week

    Reply
    • prabs
      June 12, 2015 at 4:48 pm (2 years ago)

      Thanks Martyn! My pleasure.

      Reply
  10. Rachel @ The Mama Files
    June 21, 2015 at 9:54 am (2 years ago)

    I’ve gotten to the Internet dog search thing SO many times. But ultimately I don’t think I can juggle a baby and a puppy and a husband. So I just accost people on the street and pat their dogs. It’s a bandaid solution 🙂

    Reply
    • prabs
      June 22, 2015 at 12:17 am (2 years ago)

      Lol I’m glad I’m not the only ‘accoster’ then.

      Reply
  11. doctomum
    July 14, 2015 at 8:18 pm (2 years ago)

    Alright, it seems I am quickly becoming addicted to your blog! I am the proud owner of a Sri-Lanky-spanky husband and ypu have the whole Asian/Dog thing completely down.
    After 3 years I did convince him to get a cat, which he wuved, so bonus points to me, but he cannot get over the whole dog shit thing (and the size said shit).
    You know, I once said to his mum, that I would love to run a cattery, to which she promptly told me that she would never visit my house again if I did so. She was absolutely disgusted, plus it would mean giving up a ‘good career’ as a doctor. Initially I was a bit WTF…but then its just one of those things, that pets just aren’t the same to her. Anyway enough jibber jabber – I really really enjoyed that post!

    Reply
    • prabs
      July 14, 2015 at 10:27 pm (2 years ago)

      Ha to think I shelved this post for months and nearly didn’t publish it I thought it was so rubbish at first. Thanks for reading!

      Reply
  12. Priya
    August 31, 2017 at 12:51 pm (3 months ago)

    I found your article while randomly googling my thoughts about Indians and dogs lol… So I grew up like you too- I fact I was always scared of dogs. It’s funny you mention you live in Malta? Well that’s exactly where my little man’s breed originated. I have a bright white 6 pound Maltese that I adore beyond anything and anyone. No one in my family is a dog person. But each time this little Maltese moved our hearts would melt. It has been one year now since I got Leo(my Maltese) and I share pictures of him with my ‘non-dog person’ family members almost every other day. He makes us laugh,we play with him and we dote on him. And his poop? When you love someone so much you wouldn’t mind picking up their poop, it’s not really that big of a deal:). I have no idea how I got over my fear for dogs- I guess it just took that one special puppy. I hope you find yours if you haven’t already- it’s a bond like no other.

    Reply
    • prabs
      September 6, 2017 at 11:19 pm (3 months ago)

      Awww that’s sweet. But no, I went through nappy changing 3 kids, I’m not handling any other poop. Not for me!

      Reply

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