Hello and welcome to my blogette. Absolutely Prabulous is a blog about marriage, motherhood, Malta and miscellany. Often it’s funny, sometimes it’s serious and it’s nearly always sarcastic (it’s okay, I’m getting help with that).
I used to be a girl about town, living and working in Paris and London and flitting off to New York (those were the days my friend…), before we left the UK in 2005 with a then 14 month-old. Now we live one minute from the sea in sunny blue-skied Malta and seem to have acquired two more kids. In January 2010 one of my sisters over on a visit said “Why don’t you start a blog?”. I was recovering from my third c-section, I had a newborn and no family network to help and couldn’t remember what sleep felt like. In my mind I thought I’ve got one kid at school, another occasionally at daycare and this one clamped to my breast and no idea how I’m gonna manage the kids, the house, the e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g and she’s suggesting I start a blog! And what the hell’s a blog anyway and can it do my laundry?
Out loud I said “Okay then”.
Then four years went by….
(What can I say? I was managing the kids, the house, the e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g and avoiding laundry.)
However, I found myself doing more Facebook posts, documenting in almost cringe-inducing detail the train wreck of my epic parenting fails and housewife blunders.
Many FB posts later, I realised I’d been a stay-at-home-mum for nine years. It was finally time to DO something again. I’d become bored of using my brain only to figure out where my keys were and frustrated only using my Language degree to shriek “What do you mean you can only find one shoe?!” 27 times a
week day. I thought more about my sister’s suggestion and how people kept saying my life sounded like a sitcom and that I ought to start a blog. Or as Hubster put it:
You’re extremely opinionated so you’d probably make a good blogger.
He’s a charmer.
So after enormous amounts of faffing (mainly trying to figure out if a blog could in fact do the laundry) and legendary levels of procrastination, I put brain and language to use and eventually did just that.
And by just that, I mean I started a blog for mothers to reassure them that they’re not the only ones experiencing the more ‘messy’ side of parenting marriage and womanhood – not the polished perfect version.
The biggest surprise has been the amount of dads and even singles who regularly follow my antics.
What I Write About
- Honest relateable insights into married life, The Anniversary Card I Never Thought I’d Write (which went viral and is one of my personal faves although I can’t quite believe I put it all out there).
- Raw but funny stories about parenthood including the tabloid spoof The Exhausted School Mother Epidemic (my first viral post so it has a special place in my heart) and What Parents Say About Other Parents’ Kids.
- Parenting fails such as Why The Tooth Fairy Didn’t Come.
- Moving posts about family including 40 Life Lessons for my Kids, Ten Candles and Dear Musical M, It’s Not You It’s Me (which received amazing responses).
- Frank expat observations like Should I Stay Or Should I Go and the one that caused a s***storm and also went viral Malta You’re Breaking my Heart.
- Blogging-related pieces:15 Things I Want to Pass On About Blogging and How to Tell if You’re Officially a Blog Geek to name a few.
In between losing my keys and reheating tea to the point where it’s undrinkable, I also review products, which I’ll be doing increasingly in vlog form. I’ve even managed to chuck some recipes up. But if you’re looking for serious advice on cake decorating, home storage and craft ideas, you’ll be waiting a long time…like ‘when my kids leave home’ kind of long.
Some Seriously Rubbish Pictures That I’ll Eventually Update When I Stop Folding Laundry
I’m married to this fella. He doesn’t find my jokes funny. I gave him three wonderful kids. (I’m still waiting for a thank you card.) I guess I shouldn’t complain too much because in fairness it’s pretty easy to make him happy:
Our kids are:
from left to right: Musical M, Dreamy D and Cheeky K. No I’m not a celebrity wannabe who’s given her kids daft names – they’re aliases.
We’re British Asians, we live in Malta and I speak French to the kids (I know, you’re as confused as them right now).
We can just walk to the end of our road and the kids can do this:
while I do this:
And frankly, I just can’t imagine going back to a life in the city.
I self-medicate with these:
and I’m really good at doing this:
but totally crap at doing this:
I’m disappointed by bad grammar. My finest talent is sarcasm. (Seriously, it’s a grossly underrated communication tool.)
I worry about the unnecessary stuff they put in our food/beauty/pharma products.
My favourite place is the sofa on family movie night (Santorini is a close second).
I don’t understand bad manners.
I think laziness gets a bad press.
I think my ability to sleep is an underrated talent
I’d love to run a marathon.
My best friends are Nutella and MAC makeup.
I can’t imagine a life without toast.
Voila. Thanks for stopping by. Frankly I don’t know what you’re doing down here…you should be reading those posts I told you about…