Posts Tagged ‘parenthood’

40 Life Lessons For My Kids (I Wish I’d Known as a Kid)

Dear Musical M, Dreamy D and Cheeky K

I’ve wanted to write something like this for a while but I put it on the backburner. Let’s face it, I’m probably the least qualified person to teach you valuable life lessons apart from stuff like:

– don’t lick that
– If you think it’s the wrong hole, it probably is
– there are few problems in life that a massive chocolate sundae with marshmallows and extra chocolatey sauce and some of those multicoloured thingies can’t fix (mainly because you’d be so sick after one of those that you’d forget your problems for a bit).

Seriously though, goodness only knows, I’ve only managed to implement half of the following list in my own life, so I hope you have more success than me. I know I’m meant to lead by example (honestly I do actually try) but in this case:

It’s do as mummy says, not as mummy does!

Most of it is serious but you know my cheeky ways…some of it is not. I just hope I’m raising you well enough to tell the difference between the two.

1)  I’m going to start with one of my mantras: Be happy with what you have. Don’t spend so much time chasing what you don’t have that you don’t appreciate what’s right in front of you. I want you to be comfortable (more than) and not struggle.  Just don’t rely on material wealth to make you happy because that’s just the path to misery, my loves! And even if we struggle, there is still someone far FAR worse off than us.


2) Remember the importance of healthy eating…but don’t forget that a life without cake is…well…pretty rubbish really!

3) It takes all sorts of people to make the world go round and I’m not going to tell you that we are all the same because that’s just Utopian nonsense.  But we ARE all originally made of the same stuff….even if we turn out very differently. So try to respect other people’s opinions no matter how hard you may find it. Obvious exceptions to the rule:
racist twunts, homophobes, anyone who doesn’t like U2 or Michael Jackson.

4) Find wonder in the small things. Cry, laugh, feel. It doesn’t make you an emotional sop, it makes you human. It makes you my child. If someone ridicules you for it, it’s alright…they’re just not ‘connected’ like you. Their loss.

5) Have fun. LOTS OF FUN. Because life is too damned short not to.


6) Stand up for yourself…but pick your battles wisely (and for heaven’s sake know when to just shut the hell up).

7) If any of you think/realise you’re gay, tell me and your father. We’ll never turn it into a problem or turn you away. Ever.

8) Travel as much as you can, try your best to stay safe, do some stupid shit too and purleese remember: spare me the details you can tell me anything.


9) If you find love, cherish it, never take your partner for granted and respect them. If it turns out your partner doesn’t deserve your respect…don’t be afraid to walk away no matter how awful that option may seem at the time.

10) It’s important to follow the rules…and know which ones to break…

break the rules
11) Never stop listening to music. Ever. You hear me?

12) When things go wrong, try not to search for a reason. I honestly believe things (well most things) during even the toughest of times happen for a reason.



13) Find your passion and follow it. I’m not going to tell you that as long as you follow your passion, the money required to survive in life will automatically come, but at least find a passion!

14) Look people in the eye when you speak to them. Listen to them; I mean really listen to them. SMILE. Say ‘pardon’ or ‘excuse me, not ‘what’. I know you already say please and thank you and sorry. Don’t ever stop. Humility isn’t old fashioned. Manners matter.

15) Don’t be hard on yourself. I’ve spent years doing just that. It’s such a waste of energy and doesn’t get you anywhere except down. And comparing yourself to others is just as pointless. Just be the best version of you and that’s enough.

16) Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you.

17) Try not to lash out; it’s so easy to do (guilty as charged) but does no good in the end:


(there again some people just need to be put in their place but you never heard that from me…)

18) Compete against yourself, not against others. This world of ours is becoming obsessed with winners and losers…don’t get caught up in that ugliness. Your only competition is the one looking back at you from the mirror.

19) Daughters, be tough, be brave, speak up, date whoever you want to date but always be classy. “Less is more” doesn’t mean the less you’re wearing, the more good you look. Know that understated elegance is absolute dynamite; never underestimate the impact of covering up the right bits. Don’t ever EVER let someone make you believe you can’t do something because you’re ‘just’ a girl. Do everything because you ARE a girl. Oh and did I mention, be classy?

20) Son, don’t be a tool: If you’re not going to call or text her, for Heaven’s sake, don’t take her number in the first place. Know that females are not inferior to you so be careful how you inwardly view them, outwardly treat them and talk about them to your friends. And let’s just clarify something here: not holding the door open for a woman doesn’t mean you’re respecting equality; it means you’re just rude (and I didn’t do my job right). Be a gentleman. Always. If I catch you mistreating a woman, so help me God…

21) “I can’t” is no way to speak or think. Be fluent in “I can”. Don’t just give up at the first hurdle in a situation.

think you can ford
22) Have at least two items of clothing that make you feel absolutely amazing as soon as you put them; but remember none of that’s important if you can’t remember to brush your hair or wash your face before you leave the house.

23) You will meet some nasty people throughout life who will talk behind your back or be downright rude to your face and you won’t understand why they are like that. You can’t do much about them but you can change the way you react. Above all, don’t let their behaviour dictate how you live your life and just remember: if they’re trying to bring you down, they’re already below you.



24) It’s not always me, me, me. Why? Voilà:



25) It needs to be us, us, us. You’re part of the world around you so don’t think that something isn’t your problem if you know you can help (from helping that old lady who’s just dropped her shopping bag to actual causes). Give back if you genuinely can, live responsibly…just be decent.


26) Defend your family and friends. If someone talks ill of them or mistreats them, do something about it.

27) Trust your gut. If it doesn’t feel right, it probably definitely isn’t. If it feels right, go go GO with it

28) When you are suffering hardship or heartache, remember nothing lasts forever.

darkest day

29) This is the holy grail: Never judge someone til you’ve walked a mile in their shoes, as the saying goes. It’s really hard. But just don’t.

30) When you’re too old for me to tuck you in at night, or I’m no longer around to do “Favourite part of the day”, please still do it, even silently to yourself as you drift off to sleep. Even on the darkest of days, we can usually find something that was worth remembering. Deal?

31) Be kind even when the other person isn’t giving you much reason to be.

32) Don’t spend so much time looking back with nostalgia/regret you don’t focus enough on looking forward (besides…I do that enough for all of us…).

33) THIS!


34) Always read the instructions.

35) Be accountable for your mistakes. Don’t try to pass the blame on to someone else.

36) Put your best effort into everything you do. You just let yourself down when you don’t. But recognise that sometimes a half-baked plan implemented today is better than a perfect plan implemented tomorrow (a wise man told me that…your father).

37) Listen to your mother! (Except for when she’s talking crap.)

38) If you drop it, pick it up. If you switch it on, turn it off. You’re never too important to clear up after yourself.

39) Be happy for other peoples’ success. Genuinely. Jealousy is poisonous.

40) I guess when all is said and done, it comes down to this:

Oh and I almost forgot:

– don’t lick that
– If you think it’s the wrong hole, it probably is
– there are few problems in life that a massive chocolate sundae with marshmallows and extra chocolatey sauce and some of those multicoloured thingies can’t fix (mainly because you’d be so sick after one of those that you’d forget your problems for a bit).

(I lied about 40…)

C’est tout.

What life lessons would you pass on? I’d love to know in the comments box below.

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Thanks muchly!

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