So the moment has come. The moment I’ve been literally dreading particularly over the last year or so.
The moment where I have to do something I don’t want to do, say something I don’t want to say, you know…out loud in public. (As if it’s not bad enough that I’ve already tortured myself enough this last year just saying it over and over in my head trying to come to terms with the inevitable…)
It’s finally time for me to say the F word…
Yes now I have to say it on here, my blog, the space where I’ve always committed to being as honest as possible, to never sugarcoat anything.
And I’m telling you, it’s hard. Really hard for me.
Now, you may be thinking ‘What’s the big deal. Most people actually celebrate getting to this stage’.
On the other hand, you might be appalled and think ‘Why start using the F word at all though Prabs? I mean is this behaviour really necessary?’
Yes it is actually. Like I said, this is a no BS zone (even if this policy of openness can sometimes make me or others a bit uncomfortable), so it would be almost dishonest and contradictory of me not to use the F word now…in the way I need to use it.
So yes, it is definitely, unavoidably time for me to start using the F word. And do you know what I REALLY don’t get?
The thing I just I can’t wrap my head around?
It’s that I’m surrounded, surrounded I tell you by women who don’t have a problem saying the F word At. All. (sorry fellas, you don’t count here because I don’t know a single one of your species gender who’s ever had a problem saying it).
Not only do these women have no problem saying the F word, they’re positively bursting to say it. Positive is the operative word here. Meanwhile, I’m negatively avoiding it.
All around me, women are mentioning the F word almost with pride – actual pride!
I know several people (including Hubster) who’ve had to start using the F word the last couple of years and none of them can understand why I’m so vexed that it’s now my turn. Honestly, these people have no shame or embarrassment whatsoever at the world knowing they’re saying it!
Friends just squeal with (seriously annoying) delight that they’ve totally embraced it before looking at me with (even more annoying) surprise at how I’m clearly not embracing it.
Yes that’s right. I’m about as close to embracing the F word as I am to New Zealand.
This a zero embracing zone.
Bloggers who’ve reached this stage are just dying to share with the world that it too is time for them to say this F word. In fact, some of them bravely and fearlessly dedicate several blog and social media posts to it.
I worship at their alter of unabashed unfettered fearlessness (while I cower in the corner in denial…)
And this is the other baffling thing about the saying the F word.
It’s how the hell I actually got to this point. I’m going to sound crazy but I literally hadn’t even thought about the inescapable inevitability of it.
It hadn’t dawned on me at all that having to say the F word was looming until a friend pointed it out to me three years ago. On a girls’ trip, no less. On the aeroplane. I nearly unfriended her on the spot. Ever since then, it’s hung over me like a bad smell.
But the fact is, time is up and I have to start using the f word. So here we go… Are you ready?
I’m turning f f f@&#$%! Ok that was lame. I’ll try again in full. Out loud. On the blog. In front of the world.
Still. Can’t. Believe. It.
Right, I’d best go and bloody well embrace it or something.